NO MORE DESPERATION, LADIES...
For the Single Ladies
Today I would like to write to my lovely single ladies. I want you to know that I love you all
and that you're highly appreciated. Please read and reflect on this piece of advice. It will save you from unnecessary relationship or marriage headaches.
Frankly speaking, in this part of the world, it's not easy to be a female. The expectations and pressures on the female child are so high, most times causing them to be scared and confused about relationship or marriage. Consequently, many make big relationship or marriage mistakes. It's not fair and I really sympathize with you.
Dear ladies, I want you to know that you're God's blessing to mankind. You are an embodiment of beauty, brains and talents. You're not ordinary. You have your place in the society and an enviable role to play in your family, community, nation and world.
Dear ladies, I want you to stop believing in this trans -generational lie that it takes marriage for a woman to be complete and fulfilled. As a man born into this fast declining world, like many other people, I grew up believing in that lie until truth dawned on me. Marriage doesn't make any woman complete. We are complete in Christ. Single hood and celibacy aren't a sin or a curse.
Dear ladies, as important as marriage is, it's not the only reason for your existence. You have a great destiny to fulfill. The world is waiting for your manifestation and contributions. Won't you arise and take your place in destiny?
Dear ladies, singlehood doesn't make singles inferior just as marriage doesn't make the married ones superior. You're both equal in the eyes of your Creator. It's the society that upholds that view, not God. Thank God, many men including myself have distanced themselves from that oppressive and false belief.
Dear ladies, marriage is not a do-or-die affair. No lady should be forced or pressurized into marriage. Marriage is something one should WALK INTO and not BUNDLED INTO. You must decide on who to marry because at the end of the day you will be the one to live with the outcomes whether good or bad.
Dear ladies, love isn't a one-sided thing. It's mutual, that is, you love the guy and he loves you in return. It mustn't be lesser than this or be the other way round. In fact, as a woman, the man should love you first, love you more. It's wrong for a lady to do the moves, toasting, the chasing. Since time immemorial and even in the holy book called the Bible, man is wired to initiate love, chasing and relationship.
Dear ladies, being in an unserious relationship whereby you're doing everything and the guy isn't is unhealthy. That's desperation. Desperation is when a lady forces herself on a guy. Desperation is when a lady thinks that giving a guy sex will keep him for her. Desperation is when a lady starts living with a guy who hasn't married her yet. Desperation is when a lady gets pregnant for a guy with the intention that that will make him come see her family. Desperation is when a lady below 30 keeps saying "I'm not getting any younger". Desperation is when a lady starts saying "I have waited for a decent, godly and responsible husband for long, anyone who comes my way now, I will just marry him". Desperation is when a relationship is headed nowhere but you're not ready to let go. Desperation is when a lady spends her hard earned money on a guy who obviously doesn't love her. The list goes on and on.
Ladies, if you're in a relationship that is undefined, abusive, exploitative, and is headed no where near holy matrimony, that's unhealthy. Please end that relationship and stop wasting your emotions and precious time. Period!
As a relationship and marriage coach/counselor, I am yet to understand why a lady will graduate from the university or polytechnic the next thing she will be thinking of is marriage. Ladies, don't you want to work, build a career or business? Is the totality of womanhood tied to marriage? Is marriage all there is for you in this life? What happened to the gifts and talents God has deposited in you? You are not just a marriage property, you're BEAUTY AND BRAINS.
Dear friends, I am on a mission to educate people on what true relationship and marriage is. Enough of falsehood. Ladies, even if the society relegates you to the background, please don't relegate yourselves. No more desperation, please. Many thanks for reading, commenting, liking and sharing.
See you at the top!
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