For all married and single men:
Today I write to provide all married and single men out there with some insights on how to make marriage work using the LAW OF TRUE LOVE. Do you really know what it means to love a wife in the true sense of it? This is a lengthy article and please accept my apologies in advance. Lol!
Let me begin by saying that no two marriages can be exactly the same. I am not encouraging you to pattern your marriage exactly after mine. As marriage coach and counselor, I have my own coaches, counselors and mentors. As highly revered by me as they are, my marriage doesn't look exactly like theirs. My marriage is unique so also every other marriage out there.
However, there are common universal laws that must be strictly adhered to if we must experience a blissful and happy marriage. So when a husband truly loves his wife, the following will be observed in his marriage:
A husband who truly loves his wife will care for her emotional, sexual, material, financial, mental and spiritual needs. Love remains unauthentic until it's demonstrated through care. No care, no true love. Period!
A husband who truly loves his wife will show her affection. Affection in the marriage context means bonding with her emotionally to the point that they are truly one flesh as seen in the Bible. An affectionate husband feels what his wife feels and cares about her feelings.
A husband who truly loves his wife will be committed to her till his death. He will be so poised to uphold his marital vows in good and trying times. A committed husband doesn't cheat on his wife no matter the sexual temptations from other women. A committed husband doesn't marry a second wife. A committed husband doesn't abandon, divorce or marry another woman when there is a challenge with childbirth. A committed husband doesn't abandon, divorce, maltreat or marry another woman because his children are all females. A committed husband stands by his wife at all times.
A husband who truly loves his wife gives her attention. He understands that marriage is about both of them and not about him alone.
A husband who truly loves his wife respects her because he understands that every individual deserves respect.
A husband who truly loves his wife trusts her at all times. He is not over-possessive, over-protective and overly jealous. He is not a man who loses his head and peace over his wife's whereabouts. He trusts her also with every other thing in their marriage.
A husband who truly loves his wife is honest with her. No shady deals, no "games", no secrets, no lies, no unpleasant surprises.
8. Domestic help/assistance:
A husband who truly loves his wife will assist her at home with some things. If not in position to do so personally, he will either get her a house maid/help or alternatively, get her some home appliances to ease her domestic chores. Eg: washing machine, microwave, dishwasher, gas cooker, etc.
9. Business/career support:
I always tell men to go for their type when they want to marry.
Because it's highly unfair and callous to marry a working class lady or business woman and will stop her from working or running her business simply because you married her. Honestly, no woman should quit her job or business except in the cases of highly career/
business imbalance with the family, chronic and persistent illness, high level victimization at work, delicate and complicated pregnancies. Working or business wives need support from their husbands. Don't be afraid to support your wife. Let her pursue her passion. Let her live her dreams. My wife is working and pursuing her dreams and she enjoys my 150% support in her career.
In this regard, many men, especially African men are not faring well in giving their wives their deserved relevance or importance in marriage. In many marriages, wives are disrespected, humiliated and even maltreated by the husband's parents, siblings and sometimes the extended family. Many husbands are using their siblings or parents as their next of kin on vital personal documents, and not their wives.
Some have gone to the extent of even willing all their property and fortune to their family with the exclusion of their wives and children. Husbands, that is not right. That's anti-marriage. Marriage makes the husband and the wife one flesh; they're one, inseparable "till death do them part". The relevance, respect, dignity, treatment you enjoy from your family must also be enjoyed by her. Husbands, it's sheer wickedness and foolishness to let your own siblings, parents or other relations insult, maltreat, falsely accuse or even beat up your wife in your presence or absence without you doing something about it. In fact, you must never let that happen. In a husband's life, the wife comes first. That's the divine order for marriage. Frankly speaking, sometimes some of our dehumanizing, wicked and selfish cultures and traditions don't allow couples enjoy marriage the way the God who instituted marriage himself wants it to be enjoyed
11. Acceptance of her family:
A husband who truly loves his wife will also love her family. He will treat his wife's parents and siblings like his own. Marriage unites both families. It's sheer wickedness to take care of your own parents and siblings and not do same for your wife's family.
12. Provision for the family:
These days more and more women are financially empowered. Many are bringing a lot to the family. However, a husband who truly loves his wife and children must always provide for the home. Even if your wife's is earning more than you (that's fine), you must always be up and doing to provide.
You see, no right-thinking wife who is experiencing and enjoying all these in her marriage will not be happy. Wives need and deserve all the above mentioned attributes. It's not a favour you're showing them; it's their conjugal rights. Please give it to them and see how sweet your marriage will be henceforth. Many thanks for reading and sharing.
See you at the top!