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I cried myself to sleep that night. My heart was torn in pieces and I questioned God several times.
The following morning I woke very early from the knock on my door. When I opened it was one of the maids from the mansion
“Wake up dear your aunty wants you” she said.
I quickly changed and went to the mansion. My aunty was sitted on a sleeper couch and she asked me to sit on the floor.
She was taking a glass of red wine and she was in a in a pink bathrobe and pink socks.
“Are you a fool?” My aunty said.
I was looking at the beautiful pattern of the floor when she said that and I wondered if she was talking to me. I raised my head in surprise.
“Are you surprised? Is there another fool around!!” She yelled.
I shook my head suggesting that the only fool was myself.
“As old as you are, you can not take care of yourself? What was the meaning of that embarrassment last night? Don’t you know how to prevent such!!!” She yelled.
My heart crushed and tears rolled down my cheeks.
“I’m sorry aunty I did not have sanitary towels.. So I used a …”
“Oh shut up!!! Shut up now” my aunty yelled.
“Next Time do not embarrass me in front of my guests! Useless child!!! She yelled.
I was facing down while my tears soon rolled to my neck. Before I knew it I got a splash of wine on my body.
She poured a glass full of wine on me and asked me to leave her presence.
I rushed to my room and threw myself on the concrete floor and I cried out to God.
” Jesus!!!! Jesus!!! You said you were my friend where are you!!! Even your book assures me that those who trust in you shall never lack a thing.. God why am I suffering!!!! I mourned.
I beat my hands on the dusty concrete and cried bitterly until I couldn’t cry no more.
When I got up my dress was messed with dust and the heavy flow of my menses penetrated again and stained my dress.
I quickly changed my clothes and washed the dirty things with the remaining beats of the washing powder I got from madam Patricia.
I couldn’t hang my clothes on the same line they used for the mansion so I would usually hang them over the fence or on one side of the roof as it was near, it was a poorly built chicken run so the roof wasn’t far from reach.
During the day it was a little uncomfortable because the garden boy would usually be around and he would be in the chicken run often making it hard for me to use the bathroom as it only had a curtain and the ventilation holes from my room were big. So who ever was in the chicken run would have a glimpse of what would be happening in my room.
After washing I rushed to the gate to talk to the gateman Mr ngoma.
“Sir have you seen mama Patricia of Kate? I asked.
Mr Ngoma denied seeing her and I got worried, it was unlike her not to check up on me. I was in desperate need of sanitary towels and she’s the only one who could provide.
“I will make sure I call you when I see her” he said.
I went to the mansion and started my chores, the chickens were ready for dressing so for the rest of the day that was my duty
At least I enjoyed that part of work because the maids and I would share the chicken intestines and livers.
We dressed 100 chickens in the morning and shared the intestines and livers as usual. The maids would usually cook food from the kitchen and we would share. I was not allowed to use the stove to cook my own food only during lunch when the maids and I would cook our lunch.
At night I had a brazzier which I made use of, I would get some charcoal for the chickens as there was usually charcoal for warming the chicken run at night.
That day when work was done I knocked off and went to my room but my aunty called for me. It was very unusual for my aunty to allow me in the mansion at night so I wondered what this was about.
Aunty and uncle were chatting in the living room when I entered.
When uncle was around I would sit on the couch however this time I chose to sit on the floor.
“Am sure you heard that the twins are going to America” uncle said.
I nodded my head in agreement.
“First thing tomorrow morning come and help them pack they leave at 14hrs” my uncle said.
I looked at him with a lot of bitterness, surely my dads own brother would do this to me? I thought.
I got up and left there sight. That night all I wanted was to read a book so I got a funny novel that I enjoyed reading.
I laughed to myself as I read and finally fell asleep. However I woke up angry because of the dream I had. Why would I have such a mocking dream?
In my dream I saw myself going to America instead of the twins and I was excited, I had been sponsored to go and study literature.
“God why mock me in such a way” I thought to myself.
I sat fantasising before I fell asleep again.
Because of my disturbed sleep I ended up oversleeping and was woken up by a sudden cold breeze.
“Wake up you useless child, u don’t know why you are still here I’ve warned your uncle to send you back to the village but he won’t just listen!!” My aunty. Yelled.
My body was dripping wet from the water my aunt had splashed on me.
“Let me meet you here in the next minutes.. I will kill you ! She warned before walking out.
I quickly changed and kept telling myself not to cry although a huge lump settled on my throat.
I brushed my teeth outside quickly and u ran to the mansion.
The twins were very upset and they took turns yelling at me and asking as to why I did not go there on time to help them pack. It was only 6:40 according to the clock on the wall so I wondered why they were so upset.
Seeing how much clothes they had made me jealous but I just looked on helplessly.
They all dumped there clothes on the floor and and I folded then neatly in their cases. As I packed their clothes, they bragged about the United states and how they wanted to see the statue of liberty and everything they watched in movies.
” do you know what a statue of liberty is? Faith asked.
“Yes I do, its a lady with a crown holding something up on one hand” I responded without looking at her as I sat packing.
The twins both turned and looked at me.
“How did you know that?, you’ve never been to America” Joy asked.
“I have in my imagination and through the books I’ve read” I responded.
The twins burst out laughing and called me a village girl whos never been on a plane. I was offended especially when Faith said the closest I will get to flying is on a broom since uneducated people like myself can only be witches.
The twins left in the afternoon and I cleared there bedroom before I went back to my room.
I was so bitter and I cried terribly. I didn’t even feel like eating so I slept on some raw peaches I had plucked from the garden. They actually made my tummy hurt but for a poor girl like myself, pain was normal.
That night it rained heavily and I sang different songs that I had learnt from the village as a child. I couldn’t sleep as the steel roof made a lot of noise and the chicken too made a terrible noise.
When all the songs were done I stared at the plunks above that supported the roof as tears rolled down my cheeks.
“For how long would my life be like this? Answer me Lord ” I said as I cried terribly